


Wanting and Having

by princessofthedeadsheep



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet, F/M, Forbidden Love, Mutual Pining, Star-crossed, Undercover as a Couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:28:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28781997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessofthedeadsheep/pseuds/princessofthedeadsheep
Summary: A torturous taste of what was wanted but could not be had
Relationships: Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9
Collections: Secret Snipers Exchange 2020





	Wanting and Having

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bloodylunamoth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodylunamoth/gifts).



> I don't know that I added floral imagery so much as just plain flowers, but this is definitely angsty Roy/Riza so I hope you like it bloodylunamoth!

It was not the first time they had gone undercover as a couple. Sometimes field missions required them to look innocuous, and married or dating couples tended to blend better in a lot of situations. They were always a special kind of hell, a torturous taste of what was wanted but could not be had. But this mission… he’d never had an assignment that had been as much of a punch to the gut as this one. 

  
The day was unusually hot, the sun feeling oppressive even in the white suit he was wearing. The clearing was small, made for more intimate gatherings, and yet there were still far too many people, as far as he was concerned. His people were here too, of course, but there were still far too many people to see any slip he or Riza might make. Hopefully it would be accepted that he and his lieutenant were doing it for the mission, rather than because they wanted to. The ‘sunny theme’ that they’d been following was only increasing his discomfort. He bore it well, but he wished that Grumman had picked any other pair of soldiers for this assignment. Of course, he knew perfectly well why the old man _hadn’t_ , given his very unsubtle hints over the years. He supposed he was just lucky he’d managed to talk them out of an orange or yellow suit to match the theme. 

  
After what felt like another hour, music started to play, signaling the beginning of the ceremony. He turned from where he stood at the wedding arch to watch the procession. Havoc, Breda, and Falman were playing the part of groomsmen, and Riza had Rebecca and two other female soldiers to act as bridesmaids. Orange dresses and white suits on, they walked between the chairs that had been set up and decorated with ribbons and paper flowers. In no time at all, it was the bride’s turn. General Grumman had insisted on walking Riza down the aisle. Like him, Grumman was wearing a well cut, moderately expensive white suit. 

  
Her hair was down, flowing onto the shoulders of her dress. The back of the dress was high- something she’d had to fight for, he knew, as most other victims had been wearing more ‘modern’ dresses that had little back to them. Riza had grudgingly agreed to a compromise where the V-neck dipped lower between her breasts, and the skirt ended at her knees. He’d never seen it, and, despite the colors, he found himself breathless at the sight of her. The dress was an ombre, flowing from the lightest yellow at her shoulders to a blood orange at the hem. She held a bouquet of ill-meaning flowers (who had picked those out?), marigolds and cyclamen, in matching colors. He found himself captured, for a moment, by the way she looked, a flower within the garden, vibrant and lovely.

  
He didn’t have to pretend to be a man in love. He knew it was likely written all over his face, the way that it would be if he really were a groom seeing his bride walking toward him. There was just enough wrong with this picture to prevent Roy from falling all the way into the fantasy. It was a nagging feeling that sat at the bottom of his throat and twisted at the base of his spine. The dress was not one Riza would have chosen. The colors were ones they would never, _ever_ celebrate their love with. Riza would have refused to let anyone give her away. There were guests missing, people he would have wanted there that never could be, not for this, possibly not ever. Even so, it felt real in other ways. It felt real in the way Riza was everything he could imagine and that a wedding he had only dreamed of felt like it was happening. For better or worse…

  
Grumman passed Riza’s hand to him when the two made it to the wedding arch. Their eyes met before she squeezed his hand and together, they turned to the Officiant. The victims' ceremonies had all proceeded very traditionally, so they both waited for the normal speech, prepared to say the traditional vows. When the time came, they repeated the vows, using the names of the couple whose place they’d taken. Through it all, he could feel her pain too. She would no more admit this was something she wanted than he would, but _they_ knew they meant their vows, even as they slipped golden rings they never would have chosen onto each other’s fingers. 

  
“You may now kiss the bride,” the Officiant said, and together they leaned forward to fulfill that last piece of ceremony. He was just about to close his eyes before their lips met when the sounds of a squabble rang out from the back of the congregation. Every head turned toward the commotion to reveal someone being arrested in the back. _Well_ , Roy thought, _that sorted itself out rather quickly_. All too soon it was over, and the two of them headed towards the reception area. The food _was_ paid for, as General Grumman had cheerfully said when they were sure the mission was complete.

  
“I think whoever arranged these flowers was trying to tell us something,” Roy said, taking the bouquet from Riza.

  
“I take it we’re rather lucky our suspect didn’t know the meaning of these flowers?” Riza asked, examining the blooms.

  
“They’d be more appropriate for a funeral,” he told her with a wry smile, “full of grief and goodbyes.”

  
“An odd choice for a wedding,” she agreed, “though since this wasn’t a real one I don’t think anyone was giving it too much thought. Not like with this dress,” she scowled down at it, taking the bouquet back to hold it in front of her chest. “I’m glad I decided to bring a spare.” 

  
He hummed in response, before slowing his steps. She dropped her pace to match his and for a moment, it really was just the two of them, most other people ahead of them and the ones behind busy with their charge.

  
“Do you ever think about…” he trailed off, but he didn’t have to finish. She sighed.

  
“I try not to. There’s no point. Besides, sir, I have to spend far too much time looking after you to consider other possibilities,” she said. She gave him the flicker of a smile, and it was easy to read their old promise in her eyes.

  
“Come now, Lieutenant, there are worse things,” he said, voice light and teasing.

  
“Indeed there are. Now, we really shouldn’t linger, sir. I’ll meet you in the hall after I’ve changed.”

  
“Very well, Lieutenant,” he said. They both took a moment to just to be together, without expectation, just a single moment more, before they went their separate ways, walls firmly back in place.

**Author's Note:**

> Marigolds: Pain, Despair, Grief, Jealousy, Sorrow, Caress, Pretty love, Affection, Sacred Affection  
> Cyclamen: Resignation, Good-bye
> 
> I figured Riza, considering her complicated relationship with her father, would prefer to forgo the traditional 'father walking the bride down the aisle/giving his daughter away' bit if she could. Also, considering white dresses for weddings became popular because of Queen Victoria, I decided that there had been no equivalent for Amestris and so they still went with formal dresses of many colors.


End file.
